Lorri Cardwell-Casey's blog

Let’s get ready to grrrrrumble!

July 17th, 2010

Rejection. Is there a nastier word? As writers, if you submit, you will receive rejections. And if you submit a lot, you’ll receive lots of rejections. How can you handle them? Is there any perfect way?

I like to kick something. I’ve learned to make sure I’m wearing shoes when I do this.

I can get a lot of kitchen counter-scrubbing and bathroom-cleaning and vacuuming done whenever I’m mad at my husband, or, after I receive a rejection in the mail or email. After being married 27 years and being a writer 21 years, I’ve learned to use all that angry energy.

I usually cry, particularly if this was something I felt especially proud of and was sure I’d sent to exactly the right editor or magazine or publishing house.

And then, I get mad in a good way. Somehow, I pull up some confidence from some tiny corner deep, deep inside and decide, “Well, if they’re dumb enough not to accept this, then they are not good enough to have the honor of buying my stuff. So there.”

I work hard on creating marketing lists before I send out something the first time. I go through my market directories and make a hard-copy list of every place I think my work’s suitable for. This not only makes me, over time, know magazines and publishing houses fairly well, but also empowers me in the case of receiving back a rejection. I move on. I go to the next thing on my list. I also update those lists and/or file any new marketing news from newsletters/writing mags. If an editor or magazine or house is quoted looking for something  and I happen to have just that thing, I definitely take note and try and take advantage.

It’s cliche these days to say you wallpaper a room with all your rejections. I would personally rather frame all my acceptances and cover my walls with those. Why surround yourself with negativity? I file away those nasty rejections, but I do use them to super-charge myself to become even more determined. And if I’m blessed enough to receive “a good rejection”–one where an editor has taken the time to jot a personal, hand-written comment or to write a personal letter or to even ask me to submit other work–I write a thank you note to that editor and definitely live off that positive nibblet, savoring its sweetness.

How do you react to rejections? I have friends who say they bake up a storm. Others go for long walks or fishing. Others take a long, hot bath. I think I remember a couple who burn those rejection slips.

Whatever you do and however you handle rejections, make sure you don’t let them prevent you from writing and submitting more. Learn from them. If there’s a specific comment, think on it. Put it away until you’re less emotional and can think long and hard on whether you can improve your work.

And then, submit again!

Yes, you will receive more rejections. But one acceptance makes every evil rejection all worth it. Those rejections are like steps on a stairway. You walk up that one and that one and that one and finally…you made it! Acceptance! The top of the world!

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